Losing Dad

Dad is home safe, but I am losing him. How sad I am these days watching my dad drift away from me. Just like Grandma, first the forgetfulness, then confusion, then suddenly I'll be lost. One day he won't know me, it may only be for a moment, a minute or two, but that day is coming. How do you prepare yourself for that day? When the person who made you the person you are doesn't know you.

Perhaps, I'm the one that is lost, running away from that dreaded day.

Millions of children and spouses face this everyday, I know, but comfort in numbers I do not take.

2009

Well,well, here we are already! The start of a new year, full of hope, surrounded by sadness. What's on deck for 2009? Lots of things of course, but what can I stay committed to this year?

A. Finish all of those unfinished quilts!
B. Start and finish that list of 13 projects I wanted to do in 2008!
C. Ladies of the Sea, Blue Willow and Bird BOM!
D. Commit to praying the rosary more.
E. Stay positive about Dad.

You'll notice that blogging regularly isn't on the list...but I've had this on my list for the last three years and nothing, so maybe this year will be different. Oh yeah, and losing 15lbs is not on the list this year either.

I'm hopeful surrounded by sadness.

Catching a cold

You know the feeling, slightly stuffy, scratchy throat, and generally wiped out. And what do I want to do when I feel like this? Get in bed with a pan of warm brownies of course, but then again a pan of warm brownies just about fixes all things in my life.

I'm going to call it a day with the hope that I'll rise at the crack of dawn, feel a bit better and ready to churn out a few Dear Jane blocks.

Fast cars, football and pink

 Here it is, my first Dear Jane block. I'm about six blocks behind, but I have it in my mind I can catch up over my vacation next week. Pink is "my favorite and my best" to quote one of my son's favorite story book characters.

I've never been a girlie girl, not at all, really quite the opposite. Growing up I loved sports, cars, and tech gadgets; not that any of these things should have a "gender" but, at least when I was growing up, they did. Today I notice there are girls and "girly" girls, and they both are quite terrific!

Anyway, I STILL like fast cars, football and pink.

My Dear Jane Block Book

 

Since I'm hand piecing my Dear Jane Quilt, I need a way to organize and carry all of my block piecing as I'm working. So I've made this little "carry along" block book.

Of course, it took me longer to choose the cover fabric than it did to make the book, but I love it and it is currently always by my side.

Yes, I've also even made a block. I'll post that photo very soon, now back to piecing.

Quilt Show Stress

My guild show is a few months away and I'm way behind! I am not sure how but I'm determined to have two fabulous quilts in this show. I don't seem to be sure of much lately, but I am by nature an over-thinker, which tends to make one indecisive too.

I feel like I'm in mental chaos, creative chaos...don't commit me, just say a small prayer for me. As usual I'll get it together, I'm going to pull myself together. As my husband's sister would say "get yourself together girl".

Tomorrow is third Saturday, thus guild meeting Saturday and after the guild meeting I'll head over to Southern Comforters quilt show in Bowie. Surronding myslef with beutiful quilts and women should do the trick.

Dear Jane

You've always been like a dream, so far away from my reality. How will I ever find you. Well, I've started out on my journey to you...Yes, I've taken the plunge. Don't ask me how or why. But I'm going to make a Dear Jane Quilt, by hand...All hand pieced! I thought at first I'd only use reproduction fabrics and try to be as true to the spirit as possible but now I think as true as I'll get is hand pieced.

I've found a lovely online group that hopes to do two blocks a week. Yes, of course I'm weeks behind, but I'll catch up! I will indeed.

What's so special about a Dear Jane quilt, 250 4 1/2 inch blocks all hand pieced. Oh yeah, that's special.
I'll post my blocks here as I finish them so you can ooh and ahhh.

God loves you.

Every morning for the last four years, since the first day I dropped Sean off with his sitter, I think he was nine weeks old, I've whispered goodbye to him saying that I loved him and God loves him. Well this morning, way before our goodbyes, I asked him if he remembered what he was to do today in school and when he recalled every item, I said "awesome, I love you" and he reminded him of his "rules' for today and he replied "God love you too Mommy"

Cole and Spuddy

 

Worried

My husband and I had this long discussion on the way home the other day about Fenty and if he'll really be any different/better than Williams. Until we had this discussion I fancied myself a Fenty supporter, but in the midst of our discussion I saw my support slowly drift out of the car window.

Don't get me wrong Fenty was clearly the default choice and I think a bright guy but his recent decisions are making me very nervous. Let's review a few of his decisions since he won the primary...Hired away the best guy Metro's ever seen, vowed to dismiss our current police chief within the next year and pull power from our school board. Now, there is nothing wrong with hitting the down running and certainly living up to your campaign promises is admirable, but Fenty seems to be doing a lot of dismantling (all before the general election, I'll note) I hope his vision is clear. Did I mentioned I'm worried.

As I so eloquently argued to my husband...Of course our people east of the White House and River want better schools and Pre-K for their kids. But more importantly they want their children to go to school without the threat of gun violence. That said, hearing that Fenty wants to axe our current police chief one week and another week he's in NYC to figure out how to back pocket our school board has me worried. Now, I'm not saying our chief is the best, or that our school system does not need a major overall, but I'm worried. The message he's sending surely favors the uptown folks and that's beginning to seem very familiar.

Happy Birthday Son!

Today my son, Sean Ben, turned 3! You know the first thing we did was measure him! Even before he woke this morning we measured him; he's 39 inches. It's official we are height obsessed. I never thought we were but clearly wrestling him out of a dead sleep to get the number just right proves it. Makes you wonder right, and NO I'm not 5 feet tall. Actually, I'm above average height at almost 6 feet and husband is just over 6 feet. My dad and most of my family is tall and husband's family is fairly tall too, so I'm not sure how this obsession came about. Sean Ben was 21 inches long when he was born, I can't remember the time or the weight and on some days the exact date escapes me but, I always remember 21 inches, yep, it's offical I'm height obsessed.

I love you son, Happy Birthday!

Small steps

OK, so I vowed to post more often. I'm recommitting. It's funny I can have great self-discipline, sometimes. These times are few and far between, but when I'm on, I'm on.

So here we go yet again, this time I'm only going to commit to updating once a week. Small steps. I read quite a few blogs and I've found so many smart, cool women that have interesting, funny and thoughtful things in their lives to share and they do it well. I hope to join their ranks one day. Small steps.

I have a lot to say about the whole Duke Lacrosse thing, but it is hard to be smart and thoughtful at midnight on a workday with a two year old staring at you begging for more Easter candy. Small steps...Maybe I'll find the time to be smart and thoughtful later in the week.

Did I mention I quilt?

Yes, I call myself a quilter. I have the patience and talent for it. A gift from my ancestors, Aunt Helen, Aunt Olga and Grandma Esther. Of course, I'm sure I've benefited from my mom; the well known artist, fine arts professor, gallery owner and curator. As a matter of fact, most people assume my talent is from her. I never call my quilting art, I guess it's because I've been around artists all my life and never considered anything I've created art on any level.

I appreciate quilting, all fiber arts for that matter, I just don't consider my quilts art. I love making quilts people love and enjoy, be it on their bed or on their wall.

However, this week my quilt guild Uhuru Quilters is hosting a workshop and I can't make heads or tails of the preparation instructions. I've whined about this to anyone who'll listen, of course not to members of my guild (except one, who probably knows by now I'm an idiot) and I'm totally frustrated with myself, a common state of mind for me. Anyway, since the meeting is about twelve hours away I've decided to go downstairs, hack up this fabric, throw it in a bag and act like I have some idea what's happening tomorrow at our workshop. Don't worry; I'll detail the whole hellish experience tomorrow.

Ha!

OK, it's been months since I've posted and I'm ashamed of myself. To think my last several posts have been about being a better blogger.

We'll it is a new year and I'm gonna try this again. One day at a time. My cousin asked me last night "What is a blog?" "I know the definition, but what exactly is a blog?"

Well cousin, this is a blog, a sad blog, but nonetheless a blog. Soon to be a better blog.
I've got a lot to say, really. Until tomorrow, I will post again tomorrow, I will post again tomorrow, I will post again tomorrow...

Ok I have a few minutes

My son can't sleep, thus neither can I. I'm going to be a better blogger, even if it means staying up 'till 1 a.m. I spend way too much time reading blogs these days; perhaps I'm a reader not a blogger. It is even more baffling to me how fellow quilters, full-time employees, who are also, wives and mothers find the time to blog...and be good at it.

Watch this space, better blogger coming soon!

Poor blogger

I envy all those who manage to blog daily or even weekly. I just can't find the time...

Baseball in DC

Baseball is back in DC. Maybe. They must first get the site worked out. I'm truly torn on this issue. I love baseball, NL ball especially. I own a home an earshot away from RFK stadium where the "Nationals" will play for a few years. The question is will this be good for DC? Will baseball be good for DC in N.E. or S.W.? Can the city, afford a team? Is this a sacrifice or a benefit? Economists, public policy makers, urban planners I'm sure are all over this and we can find a gantlet of conflicting positions. But if you’re a member of the working class in DC will a new team and stadium be a benefit to you?